The Drinking of River Song
by Stream Harmony
Summary: What happens in the episode the Wedding Of River Song in another universe. In a parallel universe the Doctor is forced to drink a fixed pint in time. But River refuses to let him. What will the Doctor do to save wine? A fan fic based of the episode of Doctor Who: The Wedding Of River Song. SPOILER ALERT for season 6. All rights for writting go to Steven Moffat and BBC.
1. The Fixed Pint

**This is a short fan fic I wrote of a mistake I made in one of my other stories. Its based off the episode: The Wedding Of River Song so if you haven't seen this then do not read! I had a lot of fun writing this, so I hope you enjoy it. There are more chapters coming.**

**REVIEWS ARE THE BEST! **

River runs up to the Doctor and tugs on his hand as he reaches out for the drink in front of him.  
"Well, then. Here we are at last" The Doctor says glancing at the glass in front of him.  
"I can't stop it. The drinks in control." River cries  
"You're not suppose to. This has to happen." The Doctor says faking a smile.  
"Run!" River calls pulling at his sleeve.  
"I did run. Running brought me here." The Doctor said looking up at the dome above them.  
"You almost done" A gruff voice asked from them across the counter, "Others are waiting to buy a drink."  
"Yeah." The Doctor says before looking back at River  
"I tried to fight it but I can't. It's too strong" River weeped.  
"I know. It's okay. This is were I drink. This is a fixed pint in time. This must happen. This always happens. Don't worry. You won't even remember this. Look over there" The Doctor said glancing over to see a completely drunk River Song. She drawled slightly before staggering over to a drunk Amy and Rory.  
"It's me. How can I be there?" River asks sobbing slightly.  
"That's you from the future, completely drunk, but you probably can't remember what drink. My wine." The Doctor says coldly glaring at River.  
"Why would you do that? Make me drink?" River inquires  
"So you know that this is inevitable. And you are drunk. Always and completely drunk." The Doctor tells her glancing back at the drink.  
"Hurry up, already!" The bar man complains.  
"Please, my love. Please, please, just run." River begs yanking the Doctor's wrist  
"Can't" The Doctor informs her stubbornly  
"Wine can be rewritten!" River tries to persuade the Doctor.  
"Don't you dare. I'm looking forward to drinking this! Goodbye, River. Go get drunk" The Doctor tells River sealing his hand over the drink. River prances of to get drunk while the already drunk River stumbles over. She carelessly knocks the his fixed pint in time over letting it spill over the table.  
"Hello sweetie" River flirts drawling  
"What have you done?" The Doctor asks her  
"Well I think I just knocked over your pint" River calls smugly  
"But it's fixed. This is a fixed pint in time!" The Doctor yells his hands flailing about  
"Fixed pints can be rewritten" River reveals twirling a curl around her finger.  
"No, they can't. Of course they can't. Who told you that?" The Doctor asks before the world begin to spin.

**Review?**

***I give you an un-resistible puppy dog eyes.**

**Please?**


	2. To Drink, Or Not To Drink?

**This is the second part, thingy. I know that I kind of skipped a bit…but oh well!**

**REVIEWS! YAY!**

The Doctor wakes up in an alternate universe. He enters a large bar with Amy and Cap'n Williams.  
"Hi, honey, I'm home" I say as I enter the bar. River turns to face me and takes a sip of wine from the champagne glass she is holding.  
"And what sort of wine do you call this?" Asks revealing Madame Kovarian.  
"The death of wine. The end of wine. Oh, why couldn't you just drink?" She moans sighing.  
"Did my best, dear, I showed up. You just can't get the bar attendants these days. Love what you've done to the bar! How did you swing all this?" The Doctor asks looking around  
"Hallucinogenic lipstick. Works wonders on president Kennedy. And Cleopatra was a real pushover" River says smugly  
"I always thought so" The Doctor admits  
"She mentioned you." River reveals walking over to the Doctor.  
"What did she say?" The Doctor inquired  
" 'Put down that bottle'." River recited  
"Did you?" The Doctor queried  
"Eventually." River confessed  
"Oh, they're flirting. Do I have to watch this?" Madame Kovarian complained  
"It was such a basic mistake, wasn't it Madame Kovarian? Take a child, raise her into the perfect bad attendant, introduce her to wine, what else was I going to fall in love with" River gazed into the Doctors eyes.  
"It's not funny, River. Wine is fatally compromised. Tell me you understand that." The Doctor groans  
"Pre-drinks?" River offers  
"I don't have the wine. Nobody has the wine. Because as long as I'm not drinking, wine is dying, because of you, River." The Doctor blames  
"Because I refuses to kill the wine I love." River say honestly  
"Oh you love it do you? Aw that's sweet of you." The Doctor says advancing toward River.  
"Get him!" River calls and guard rush up to grab the Doctor  
"Come here, you." The Doctor say reaching out for the wine glass that River holds.  
"I'm not a fool, sweetie. I know what happens if you drink" River says. The Doctor breaks free and snatches the glass from Rovers hands.  
"Get it off him! Get it off him!" River yells in pain  
Doctor, no, let go! Please. Let go!" Amy calls trying to prise the drink from his hands  
"Get it off him!" River calls repeatedly.  
"I'm sorry, River, it's the only way." The Doctor admits bringing the glass to his lips. River manages to wrench the glass from his hands.  
"Ah! Cuff him!" River shouts rubbing the glass.  
"Oh, why do you always have handcuffs? It's the only way, River. I'm the opposite pole of the disruption. If I drink, I'll short out the differential. Wine can begin again.  
"And I'll be drunk while you drink a fixed pint" River notifies.  
"And wine won't fall apart. The bottles with be opened. Drinks will continue, there isn't another way." The Doctor growls  
"I didn't say there was sweetie." River says walking away  
"There are so many theories about you and wine, you know?" River asks turning to face me.  
"Idle gossip." The Doctor said plainly.  
"Black market." River corrects  
"Same thing!" The Doctor calls exasperation obvious in his voice.  
"Are you the man to drink the wine or kill the wine." River says plainly  
"Oh. I don't want to kill wine" the Doctor remarks  
"I don't want you to drink it." River replies stepping closer to the Doctor.  
"Well, this is no fun at all." The Doctor says flirtatiously.  
"It isn't, is it?" River replied flirting just as much as the Doctor. Water begins to leak from the top of the bar.  
"Doctor, what's that?" Amy asks  
"The bar above us. How many Grapes have you got trapped inside it?" The Doctor inquired out of curiosity  
"None. They're not trapped. They never have been. They've been waiting. For this, Doctor, for you." Madame Kovarian chuckled  
"They're out! All of them! No one gets in! Ma'am, my men out there should be able to lock this down. We have them out numbered." Cap'n Williams informs them.  
"And you're wearing bottle corks based on mine, I think. Whoops." Madame Kovarian grins.  
"What do you mean?" The Doctor asks. A women across the bar screams.  
"Help her! Help her!" The Doctor orders.  
"Shes dead." Amy announces quietly.  
"Bottle corks off now! Remove them! Ahh" The Doctor cries as his bottle cork goes of. Amy promptly removes the Doctors bottle cork just before hers goes off.  
"The grapes would never allow for an advantage without taking one themselves. The effects will vary from person to person, either death, hangover or complete drunkness. But they will take you all, one by one." Madame Kovarian cackles. But then Madame Kovarians bottle cork goes off.  
"What are you doing? No, it's me. Don't be stupid! You need me! Stop it! Stop that!" Madame Kovarian calls in pain,  
"I can stop this right now, wine and me." The Doctor offers  
"Get it off me" Madame Kovarian shouts in the background.  
"Amy, tell her!" The Doctor instructs.  
"We've been working on something. Just let us show you." Amy pleads  
"No point. There's nothing you can do. My wine is up." The Doctor replies stubbornly  
"We're doing this for you!" Amy protests.  
"And people are dying for me. I won't thank you for that, Amelia Pond!" The Doctor persisted.  
"Just let us show you." River begged.  
"Please! Cap'n Williams, How long do we have?" Amy asks  
"Ah, a couple of minutes?" Cap'n Williams estimates.  
"That's enough. We're going to the receptor room, right at the top of the bar. I hope you're ready for a climb." River says grabbing the Doctors hand and pulling him out of the room.  
"I'll wait down here, ma'am, buy you as much wine as I can." Cap'n Williams says raising his bottle.  
"You'll have to take you're bottle cork off." Amy suggested.  
"Can't do that, ma'am. Can;t forget what's coming." Cap'n Willliams replied faithfully.  
"But it could activate at any second." Amy continued.  
"It has activated, ma'am. But I'm no use to you if I can't remember. You have to go, ma'am" Cap'n Williams said raising his bottle slightly higher.  
"Yes." Amy agreed leaving the building.

**I WUV GETTING REVIEW!**

**PRETTY PLEASE WITH; SUGAR, CHERRIES AND ALL THINGS NICE.**

**WHY AM I WRITING IN CAPS LOCK? I'm gonna stop now…MAYBE**

**YAY!**


	3. I Can't Let You Drink!

**yeah, so here's another chapter for ya! I may be writing another one, it depends how many reviews, favourite and/or follows I get. But I think I will do one more chapter! **

"What's this? Oh, it's a tiny-winy duke-box. Who built this?" The Doctor asks advancing towards the box.  
"I'm in charge of the BOTTLE SHOP. I understand the physics" River admitted jabbing some money into the machine.  
"Yes, but that's all you've got, is a juke-box?" The Doctor inquires angrily  
"I've been listening to music. Juke-box music. Outside the bar of this wine, the world is still turning and I've played music everywhere. To the future and the past, the beginning and the end of everything," River inspired.  
"River! River, this is ridiculous! That would mean nothing to anyone. It's insane! Worse, it's stupid! You embarrass me!" The Doctor yells pulling at his hand cuffs  
"We barricaded the door, we've got a few beers. Just tell him. Just tell him, River!" Amy ordered pulling Cap'n Williams into the room.  
"Those reports of vodka and cider, they're wrong. There aren't any. It's not the vodka. It's you. The sky is full of a million, million bottles full of cider. You've touched so many bottles, saved so many caps. Did you really think when your time came you'd really have to do more than just pay. You've decided that the pub is better off without you. But the pub doesn't agree" River whispers sobbing slightly.  
"River, no one can help me. A fixed pint has been altered Wine is disintegrating." The Doctor reasons.  
"I can't let you drink!" River cries throwing her hands up  
"But I have to drink!" The Doctor shouts  
"Shut up! I can't let you drink, without knowing wine is loved. By so many, and so much! And by no one more than me." River sobs tears rolling down her face.  
"River, wine and I, we understand what this means. I know, we are ground zero of a hangover that will engulf all of the pub. Billions on billions with suffer and vomit." The Doctor replies trying to persuade River to let him drink.  
"Wine'll suffer, if you have to drink it." River whispers gazing into the Doctors eyes.  
"More than any other drink in the bar?" The Doctor asks  
"Yes." River nodded solemnly.  
"River River. Why do you have to be this? Melody Pond! Your daughter! I hope your both proud!" The Doctor rants turning away from River  
"I'm not sure I completely understand" Cap'n Williams cut in  
"Um, we got drunk and had a kid and that's her" Amy said awkwardly.  
"Okay." Cap'n Williams said a compl fused expression I his face.  
"Amy, un-cuff me now. Okay, I need a litre whiskey. Any will do. Never mind. River, take a sip of this. Don't swallow it, and hold the glass out to me" The Doctor instructs  
"What am I doing?" River asks trying not to spit out the whiskey that's in her mouth.  
"As your told. Now, we're in the middle of a combat zone, so we'll have to do the quick version. Cap'n Williams say 'I consent for her to drink"" the Doctor orders  
"To what?" Cap'n Williams inquires protectively  
"Just say it! Please." The Doctor begs  
"I consent for her to drink" Cap'n Williams quickly says  
"Need you to say it to. Mother of the whiskey" The Doctor reveals. River begins to smile.  
"I consent for her to drink." Amy repeats  
"Now, River, I am about to whisper something in your ear and you have to remember it very, very carefully and tell no one what I said." The Doctor reveals leaning toward her ear  
"I hate wine." The Doctor whispered into Rivers ear.  
"I just told you my favourite brand. Now, there you go, River Song, Melody Pond. I'm the man who drinks wine. And, drunkard, I have a request. This pub is dying and it's all my fault. And I can't bear it another day. Please, help me. There isn't another way." The Doctor said, heart felt  
"Then you may drink the wine" River smiled handing him the glass.  
"I'll enjoy it." The Doctor said pulling the glass to his lips  
"You better." River whispered closing her eyes as the world fell apart.

**"Review? Please" I beg you falling to my knees. You smile and click the review box. Once you've written the review you post it.**

**"Thank you, random person!" I scream, jumping up and down while hugging you ( well maybe…maybe not…)**

**REVIEW! Hehehehehe!**


	4. Cheating On Your Wife? With A Drink?

**Yeah, I know. It's short, but here's the end. Sorry, but there will be no more! But here's the last part! Enjoy!**

The world crumbled back to reality. The Doctor appeared back in the bar, River standing in front of him, drunk.  
"Hello sweetie" River slurred  
"You ready?" The Doctor asks, glaring into the fixed pint in his hand. The Doctor pulled the concoction to his lips.  
"Will you hurry up already?!" The bar man yelled slamming his wrist on the table.  
"We'll go to a table." The Doctor decides pulling himself, River and the fixed pint to a table of to the side of the bar.  
"I understand now. I know you need to drink the fixed pint! But I need wine!" River yells almost spilling the pint again.  
"River! Calm down! Calm down! I know, dear. But there isn't another way." The Doctor said pulling River back into her seat.  
"But.…but? Wine?" River whimpered, tugging at his sleeve  
"I know, honey. It's okay, I know your addicted. Maybe you can try and give it up." The doctor suggests  
"I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT ALCOHOL! WHY WOULD YOU EVEN SUGGEST THAT!" River shouted folding her arms over and chest, mumbling.  
"Maybe not then…But I need to drink this. Go and buy some whiskey" the Doctor told River picking up the pint.  
"I hate whiskey" River mumbled walking back over to the bar attendant.  
"Ah, good she's finally gone! That just leave us." The Doctor whispered toward his pint.  
"I love you. I love the way your so quiet. Your just so beautiful to me. Eh, sexy?" The Doctor flirts to the drink.  
"Doctor?! Are you cheating on me…with a…with a drink?!" River asked storming over, a glass of wine in her hand.  
"Umm…" the Doctor stumbled staring at his wives fiery eyes. He heard a loud crack as the glass she was holding snapped into to two.  
"DOCTOR!" River raged throwing herself at him.  
"Ahhhh! Help me!" The Doctor screamed as River attacked him.

**Review? Please? It's the last chapter…**


End file.
